affection without an ultimatum

Sometimes I’m really proud to be lithromantic towards my queerplatonic partners. I think it saves them the pressure of returning affection or connectedness they might not feel like returning. especially the two who are in a romantic relationship. I don’t impose myself on their equation, or demand the same time, type or degree of love. they would never have to lie to me or grow resentful. I’m happy with whatever they should give me. happy just adoring them quietly, supporting them from my place on the sidelines, waving the pom poms. 

I’m proud that I don’t limit them from loving whoever, however they wish, doing whatever they want. I hate having to justify my alone time, or other-people time, so I don’t ask that of them. people seem to think jealousy is the litmus paper for true affection, but to me it seems quaint. just somebody’s poor self-esteem used as shackles. no, I want my people to be free to take on the world, not waiting around for me. I love them as autonomous whole beings more than I love “us” as some unit. 

This has been painted like an ugly thing in the past… like I’ve insulted my partner because I’m not interested in beating off their suitors. like I don’t love them enough. but I think it’s a truly selfless love… to let someone be free. of yourself, too. and I’m proud to be capable of that.